Bad Day - R.E.M.
So, you know when you’re shaving your legs at the bathroom sink, and you mindlessly grab the hair mousse instead of the shave mousse, and then hours later you have hives on your legs? Yeah, me neither…. *scratch* *scratch*
The Lumineers - “Hey, Ho”
Wow. I’m a bit ashamed that it’s been so long since I’ve written anything.
I’m very busy this term, but I’m surprisingly happy nonetheless. I’m teaching this term, and working to finish up my current project. I’ve also begun interviewing for tt positions for the fall. I gave a really awesome colloquium in my home department last week, and I’m feeling more confident in my professional abilities than I have in a long time. I’m hopeful that I will find a position for September.
My personal life, while not ‘full,’ is still satisfying. I’m still not on the dating scene, but I’m comfortable with that decision. I spend more time with my friends, and I’ve come to enjoy my alone time too. I spent the holidays with my sister and her family, and I’ve been suffering from a bit of homesickness ever since. It’s not crippling, just bittersweet. I love the work I am doing, and I love my friends, but I really do miss my family. I would like to move closer to family in the fall if I can.
For now, things are good. I feel like I am living in flux, but I’m happy. I’m hoping things will solidify in the next few months so I can start to make plans for the future.
Gin Wigmore - Black Sheep
The last month or so is a blur. Obviously some things stick out (such as the 5 powerless days post-Sandy) but I’ve been keeping myself pretty busy at work and socially. I’ve been catching up on work I let slide post-surgery, and now I’m catching up on a week of campus closure and sending out job applications as well. I’ve also been working on nurturing more of a personal life for myself. I didn’t realize how much of my down time I spent with C, and how much I front-loaded it all on weekends and worked late on weekdays until I was single again.I have work to do in that department, but recognizing the imbalance is the first step. So far so good.
I booked my plane ticket for a Christmas trip to see family last week, so although the next few weeks will be hectic I at least have something to look forward to.
Bruce Springsteen - Dancing in the Dark
Sooooo, Sandy happened. I haven’t had power since Monday night and the power company says it may be Sunday before I have power at home. I’m seriously considering sleeping in my office on campus, which has power. And the internetz. Obviously. It’s like a great big nerdy refugee camp of physicists around here.
I’ve also warned my adviser that he may find cats in our lab/office space over the weekend if my apartment power stays off much longer and the temperature keeps dropping. I’ve respectfully asked him not to leave any radioactive sources lying around in boxes, just in case.
Tonight C emailed me and asked me if I would meet him for tea this weekend.
And then I opened a bottle of 18 year old scotch and eyed my bathtub longingly. (No baths until 6 weeks post-op.)
I’m hurt, angry, and I still love him too much to see him. I don’t trust him, and I don’t trust myself around him. He behaved so badly, and I don’t forgive him. And I know if I see him I might. And then I would never forgive myself.
So. Scotchy scotch scotch. And then bed.